my sisters under your porch take her home
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
