; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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