I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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