i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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