Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I think I just sharted jello shots
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