is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
