i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
