I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize