so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
