hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Do you have feelings for this penis?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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