nut hugger
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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