I cockslap morals
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
