The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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