ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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