i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
