I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
