i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
