I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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