sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
