What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
MIDGETS
????
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
