you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm too high and old for this...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
