I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
