Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You are a genius and a whore.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
