I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
