go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
3 2 1 whiskey
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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