I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
