ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
