The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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