The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
