everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
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