just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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