I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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