What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need moral support for this bender
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
