it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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