just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
