He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
