If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize