I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
