My brain says no but my pants say off.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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