I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so let's talk penis.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
