i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
