i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
