Sry I called you an 8
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
