I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize