i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
