The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize