Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
