I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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