I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
