Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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