His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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