It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
