you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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