Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
