Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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