playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
