"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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