i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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